It Was A Bust
by awoljacket
Summary: After a night of brewing over his case, Nick Valentine reaches an epiphany that might just lead him to Eddie Winter and his boys, allowing him to put his past behind him, but is all that glitters really gold?


It was a bust. A failure. That's all you need to know.

The night had been long and tiring. Cosmo laid on the couch of the Valentine Detective Agency in silence, listening to the gentle hurring of the fan Nick kept on his desk while the infamous detective poured his vision and his heart all over the case files strewn across his desk. Cosmo could have sworn she literally heard his gears turning with hard thought. It had been one of those nights where he couldn't let Eddie Winter and his boys go.

She never questioned his fixation with the case when it had been years past, she didn't need to know; she figured he'd explain it when he really wanted to. All she knew was that he'd get Eddie Winter if it was with his dying breath. She could see it burning in his eyes- the way he looked at his files and messily scrawled notes- she knew there had to be something more; something that told her that those messy papers would never let him go.

When Cosmo felt herself sinking lower and lower into her place on the couch, lying on her back, she suddenly she heard feet hit the floor hard and saw a figure out of the corner of her eye jump up with indignance. Without a second to waste the shadow of Nick Valentine grabbed his coat off the back of his chair, threw it on and with it the battered hat on top his head. " _I've got you now, Winter!_ Come on Cosmo!" He yelled with pride, already taking long strides towards the door. Cosmo jumped up and followed him out the door, grabbing her hat and fixing her glasses.

They ran to a subway somewhere under Diamond City that Cosmo hadn't quite seen before. Nick busted down the door, greatly less cautious in taking out the raiders that had inhabited the subway and Cosmo scrambled to cover him. He went through all the filing cabinets looking for anything that he possibly could when the area was clear. After a while he turned towards Cosmo with a piece of paper with blood splattered over it, and it was impossible to tell if it was raider blood or something- someone- else's. The look on his face was alone enough to make Cosmo feel just as he looked. Completely broken. Hopeless. Tired. Scared. Nick's hand tightened around the paper and his shoulders dropped with a force that made his knees buckle.

His eyes closed shut and let the paper flutter to the floor. When he turned, he stopped to take a good look at Cosmo. He took a long breath, straightened his back and fixed his hat. He bit his quivering lip with a small shake of the head and gave a small nod to Cosmo. "Come on, kid... Let's get out of here..." He sighed as he leaned down to pick up the paper and stuff it back in his pocket.

When he walked out the door, Cosmo could sense a shift in the air. The two walked out of the subway. Nick didn't bother double checking the halls as he walked- he just kept his head slightly down and stepped with a rhythmic echo. Cosmo trailed a bit behind him, keeping a lookout on their sides, making sure nothing could come out of the shadows and hurt the two when Nick wasn't looking. She had never seen him so... Mechanical. Nick was always filled with a childlike wonder that she hadn't seen since before the war. In some ways, she could recognize it in her late husband and she wished she had savored every inch of it while she could. Now she was given a mechanical man and she took it as her second chance- another take on learning how to love.

When they reached the door, Nick looked to the side and put his mechanical hand on the handle, a soft _clink_ ringing in their ears. When he looked back, he stopped and looked almost taken aback, as if he completely forgot that parts of him were mechanical- that he wasn't just like every other human on the planet. He took in a long breath and stepped outside and Cosmo followed him.

"Hey Nick...?" The man in the coat barely slowed down to answer her, turning his head so that she could see that he was listening, but not wanting to show his entire face. The entire mechanical picture. "You alright..?" He turned his head back and nodded, without saying anything.

After a few more steps he let a small, "don't worry about me, kid," mouthed around a broken smile. He knew it wasn't necessary when she couldn't see his face- but it was more for him than anything. "I'm fine."

Cosmo walked towards him and very gently wrapped a hand around his arm causing him to stop dead in his tracks. The beginnings of icy cool raindrops were starting to fall on the two and she could hear the pitter on the brim of his hat. "You don't have to pretend, Nick."

Nick paused for a while but a sneer hit his face and he yanked his arm away from hers. "I don't want your damn sympathy, Cosmo."

Cosmo stood back, in awe that such a gentle person could do such a thing out of the blue- but she wasn't entirely surprised either. This case meant something that no other cause could mean to him and she knew it. "I'm sorry.. I just.. Thought you might need someone.."

"Do you know how damn long I've looked for this merc?" He slowly lifted his gaze from his shoes to the sky and turned around to face Cosmo. "I've been sitting at that damn desk looking at those files for _years_. _That bastard took everything from me!_ And all I can find is a goddamned _piece of paper_!" He ripped out the crumpled paper from his pocket and threw it to the ground. "He killed my damn fiancé! He took everything that was good in my life and just flushed it away with a f _ucking bullet_!" His lips quivered and his eyes pleaded for something more- for just a small sign of forgiveness from whatever there was out there. But there was more in those pleads than just forgiveness- there was a plea for bloodshed. He wanted revenge and he wanted it so goddamn bad he would do anything to get it. "What the hell am I supposed to do, Cosmo!? I'm... I'm not even a goddamn person anymore." He looked down at his shaking hands and fell to his knees, as if gravity shoved him down, readying him for the final blow. "I'm chasing ghosts..." There it was. That was all he needed. The reminder that he was nothing left but in a tin man in an oversized coat. He was a disregarded product of science for humanity. When he looked up from his hands, tears fell from his eyes, clearing paths of dirt on his fabricated skin. " _He took everything from me..._ "

Cosmo's quivering eyebrows pulled up in concern. She felt like she was looking at him through a broken window, warping her perception of him and making her more aware of his flaws and just how much he was hurting. She didn't know synths could cry... She never thought about it. But it was clear to her Nick was human enough; the way he acted, the way he thought. She slowly stepped towards him and crouched down. She held her hands out towards him, they were calloused, stained with blood and grease. Her throat burned with the cuts of all the words stuck.

Nick reached out his hands towards hers and she held on with all her might, pulled him close to her, wrapped an arm around him and squeezed his mechanical hand in hers. She tried to comfort him. "I'm so sorry, Nick..." He sniffled and buried his face in her shoulder, his breath hitching from time to time. "I'm so, so sorry..."

But amidst all of those words stuck in her throat, there were a few that strung together a perfect sentence, but she just couldn't get them out. So there they faded away like the mentats she watched dissolve in her drinks. _You're the most human person I've ever met, Nick Valentine._


End file.
